Hard Time Wiping? Dr. Evan Goldstein Talks A-booty It!
Image of bathroom with toilet and double vanity by Unsplash.
If you or someone you know has a hard time wiping after using the toilet, it can feel like you’re the only person in the world with this problem.
Many people feel ashamed like they shouldn’t have a hard time wiping. They don’t want to talk about it and desperately hope that the problem goes away on its own.
If you’re a caregiver like I was to my grandparents, you may feel helpless or frustrated watching your loved one struggle with wiping.
I often wondered, “How can I help my grandparents wipe easier?” At the time, there weren’t any resources available to help me assist my grandparents with figuring it out!
It takes a lot of courage to open up, ask for help, and look for solutions for this common issue! Who do you turn to help you out with wiping?
We’ve got your backside!
Today’s blog post is extra special because we have advice from a surgeon on the topic! Dr. Evan Goldstein is the founder and CEO of Bespoke Surgical – a first of its kind health practice specializing in gay men’s sexual health and wellness.
He also is an advocate for easier booty wiping and destigmatizing issues around booty health. I was able to ask him a few questions on wiping and here’s what he had to say:
Wiping is an awkward topic for most people that prevents them from reaching out to healthcare professionals! What led you to your current area of expertise?
Dr. Evan Goldstein: 10 years ago, I founded my surgical practice, Bespoke Surgical, because I realized no one was treating butt-specific issues, especially within the queer community and especially without fear or judgment.
Sure, there are traditional ways to treat specific issues, but knowing the context within which these issues arise is critical. If you don’t ask specific questions about how people use their butts, you may perform surgeries or recommend at-home remedies that unknowingly affect other parts of the patient’s life. Unfortunately, most other surgeons simply weren’t doing that.
I ran a study and found 92% of doctors don’t ask their patients about their sexual history or practices. And for the ones who do, most patients don’t feel comfortable being honest with their doctors. So my goal was to create a surgical practice that took a holistic (and hole-istic) approach to anal care and did so in an affirming way.
There shouldn’t be any shame about our butts. We all have one and most of us (whether you admit it or not) use them for things other than just going to the bathroom.
In my experience, I’ve found people of all ages and abilities struggle to wipe for a variety of reasons, like injuries or illness. What’s your advice to make wiping easier?
I have 3 rules of thumb for making bathroom breaks easier (and less painful): (1) adding fiber supplements to your daily routine, (2) ditching wet wipes, and (3) investing in a bidet.
I always use dogs as a point of reference for people who struggle with less-than-perfect bowel movements. Have you ever seen a dog wipe their butt after pooping? No. Because their diet is naturally super high in fiber.
For humans, it’s simply not possible for most of us to incorporate that much fiber into our diets via food alone. So I recommend finding a fiber supplementation that works for you—something in either a powder or pill. This will help bulk your stool, reduce any strain while going to the bathroom, and either eliminate the need for wiping altogether or make it quick and simple.
Next, I am strongly anti-wet wipes. While I understand the attraction—they make wiping easier and make your butt feel cleaner—they can actually do more long-term harm than you’d expect. Many factors contribute to why they’re bad for your butt, but one, in particular, is that they alter the body's natural microbiome. The microbiome is a combination of good and bad bacteria, which is typically in homeostasis, keeping everything aligned, but with the chronic use of wet wipes, this becomes disrupted.
The ingredients, the moisture they [wet wipes] create, the fabric itself—all of these factors play a part in this change, but the second biggest issue is the excess moisture they create and leave behind (no pun intended). Most people wipe and then immediately pull up their underwear. This area is naturally moist, especially in warmer climates or summer months, and doesn’t get a chance to air out because it’s hidden all day.
So you’ve trapped all this moisture in your crack and then, when you add your daily activities, like walking, running, exercise, and sitting, all of which add friction—boom—bacteria, fungal, or viral infections can arise. Constant irritation develops and it’s something you can both see and feel. Redness, blotchy spots, itching, chronic fissures, and yes, even the development of HPV’s anal warts.
Which leads me to my third suggestion: get a bidet! Bidets are my go-to for cleaning up after going #2. They’re finally readily available, affordable, easy to install, and easy to use. It’s like taking a shower without needing to get into the shower, which I know is not always possible for everyone. Also, it allows for the dirty work to be accomplished, even in limited mobility cases, and aids in the “less is more” wiping approach.
My audience consists mostly of caregivers. What tips do you have for people to talk to their loved ones about this sensitive topic?
Quality of life is paramount when providing care and the anal region plays a part in our daily living. When that paradigm shifts and becomes imbalanced, limitations and a decrease in the quality of life may be present. As someone’s caregiver, this is part and parcel to their responsibilities and duties. The more you bring in all facets of appropriate care, the more comfortable we get with anal hygiene and management.
I usually start at the onset to make sure you do your initial or daily assessments, paying attention to everything—oral, skin, dental, vaginal or penile (when appropriate), foot, and, of course, anal care. These full-body evaluations lend themselves to more normal discourse and help de-stigmatize the conversation.
A butt is a butt is a butt and we all have one. There’s no need to feel ashamed about it.
How can we make sure our bowels are normal, the area is free from functional and/or form issues, aesthetics are discussed (if they are of concern), and also the surrounding skin is without irritation? Then, let’s focus on how the client approaches everything and what potential assistance is necessary to minimize any complications.
Life is too short with too many other issues to also have to worry about our anal region. If something is present, it can literally be a pain in ass. Don’t be dismissive. When you’re proactive and provide the right care and attention, most issues can be resolved fairly easily.
I’m also a fan of bidets. What should people consider when buying a bidet for optimal booty cleaning?
Nowadays, there are a lot of great options. I’ve been working with Tushy for a number of years and I have them both at home and in the office. They work really well, they’re very affordable and super easy to install, and they look nice, too. But really anything that helps clean your butt in a gentle way is worth investing in. With many types, the dials and locations, and all should be taken into consideration when purchasing, making sure no limitations are discovered after install.
If you take anything away from this post, please know that your healthcare providers want you to talk about your butt with us! To learn more about Dr. Evan Goldstein and Bespoke Surgical, click HERE.
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(Pssssttttt . . . did you know we have an awesome online course for people who have a hard time wiping after using the toilet? It’s an awkward topic that you can learn how to solve in the comfort and privacy of your own home! Learn more about the course HERE!)