The Bathroom Topic Few People Want to Talk About . . .
In my time as an occupational therapist, I’ll never forget working with a woman named Linda (*fake name) whose knee replacement went to hell in a handbasket.
This resulted in Linda’s life going from busy and active to dependent on help for basic self-care.
Photo of bathroom including toilet and double vanity by Unsplash.
As part of my job, I help people learn how to take care of themselves again, which includes going to the bathroom.
When it came time for Linda to clean up after using the toilet, the pain and weakness were too much for her to do it. Linda looked at me with huge tears in her eyes and asked for help.
Although I didn’t mind at all, this situation was humiliating to Linda, “I don’t want you to do it. I’m glad you can help me, but I want to do it myself.”
I’ve worked with so many people like Linda. Most of us struggle with wiping at some point in our lives for many different reasons.
Sometimes a bad back or shoulder can make it more difficult. Maybe you’re a stroke survivor or cancer survivor. Nowadays, COVID survivors have this problem, too.
People with Parkinson’s or dementia have a hard time wiping. People who’ve been in car accidents or fallen with injuries. People who are plus-sized. People with chronic pain or fatigue. Maybe you’re born with a condition that makes it hard to wipe.
While I could go on forever about how common it is to have difficulty wiping, I want you to know that you and your family don’t have to suffer in silence! Although it may feel embarrassing to talk about, your health care providers want to help!
Let’s focus on solutions to make wiping better! Here are a couple of tips to try at home:
1) Sit while you wipe.
No standing up and wiping here! Sitting gives you a wider base of support to balance yourself while you reach to wipe. You’ll reach yourself easier and wipe more successfully!
Incredibly, I’ve seen people prop one foot on the toilet stool while balancing on the other foot. If you’ve got great balance then get on with your bad self and call Cirque du Soleil while you’re at it!
For most of us, standing to wipe is just not a good idea. If you’re feeling pain, weakness, or fatigue, sit your butt down on the toilet to get the job done. Sitting to wipe will always be the way to go!
2) Toilet height
Is your toilet seat at the right height for you?
Most toilet seats average 15 inches in height from the floor. Ideally, you want to sit on the toilet with your feet flat on the floor and your knees and hips at ninety-degree angles. This position will give you the support you need to reach and wipe that booty!
If the toilet is too tall, then it becomes a little bit counterproductive to wiping when your feet are dangling in the air.
In general, I’ve found that people under 5’4” don’t need an ADA toilet. ADA toilets also go by the names chair height or comfort height toilet.
(FYI: I’m an Amazon associate which means if you purchase any items through these links, I receive an itty bitty commission. Thanks for helping run this website!)
Reasons Why You Don’t Want a Tall Toilet
I do want to share a quick personal anecdote about toilet seats that are too tall for people under 5’4”:
My darling Granny was probably about 4’10” on a good day. She had a regular height toilet that worked well for her. There were no wiping issues at all.
Like everything else in life, the toilet starting incessantly running water and my mom decided to replace it before the water bill went sky high.
Mom rushed to a big box store and bought a chair height toilet where the seat was 17” from the floor. My mom’s intention was to help Granny use the toilet easier without realizing that making the toilet too tall would actually make wiping more difficult.
Granny’s feet dangled from the floor which made it harder for her to balance while wiping after using the toilet. The tall seat also put uncomfortable pressure on the back of her legs. So overall, she was less independent cleaning herself and felt more discomfort.
After I discovered the chair height toilet and Granny’s new woes, I’d be lying if I said I didn’t feel like my mom took a knife to my heart. I mean, this is only what I do for a living! Why wouldn’t you ask your own daughter about the best toilet for her own grandma before buying and installing a new one?
But I quickly realized that Mom was trying to help and didn’t think about how Granny’s short stature and wiping abilities would benefit most from a new regular height toilet.
When in doubt, consult an occupational therapist to make the right decision! It will save you so much money and time! Do the job right the first time, not the second or third!
Toilet Solutions for Linda
Just so you know, Linda had a happy ending too! With a few tweaks to Linda’s toilet, she was back in action independently caring for herself while her knee recovered. She was a taller woman, so we made her toilet taller and placed grab bars next to the toilet for her to feel secure while getting in the best position to clean herself.
Linda felt relieved not having to wait on anyone else. “I’ve got my life back!” She felt empowered and confident in her ability to care for herself. I want everyone to feel that way about themselves!
No one needs to wait until they’re completely healed to wipe their butt! If you or your family want more guidance on your unique situation, ask your doctor for a referral to see an occupational therapist, or feel free to contact me with questions.
Do you have any tips to wipe your booty easier? I dare you to share them in the comments below! Please also share this article with a friend or family member who has a hard time wiping. You could change someone’s life!
Remember, you better do it before you need it!
(Psssssttt . . . Hey, did you know we have an awesome online course for people who have a hard time wiping after using the toilet? It’s an awkward topic that you can learn how to solve in the comfort and privacy of your own home! Learn more about the course HERE!)