Changes to Make at Home When Your Family Member Has Dementia
After my grandmother passed, we noticed some changes in Grandpa.
He seemed lost. He wasn’t able to recall answers to simple questions like, “What did you eat for breakfast?”
Of course, you’d expect that kind of behavior after someone lost their wife of 68 years. But we worried that changes in memory would affect his safety on a daily basis.
Photo of grandfather and grandchild by Unsplash
As a family, we were concerned that he may become injured or get into trouble and have no one around to help.
Besides, we knew Granny was the brains of the operation before she passed.
Granny looked out for Grandpa. She told him it wasn’t a good idea to walk ten blocks to the gas station for lotto tickets during the middle of a hot summer day.
She kept him on schedule and made sure his meds were taken and that he was up at the same time each morning to watch mass on TV.
Granny monitored what he ate and what chores he did.
So when Granny was gone, Grandpa didn’t have that support anymore, which caused us to worry about his safety at home.
Not to mention, he started talking about having “visitors” that we weren’t aware of.
So my parents moved into Grandpa’s house to take over Granny’s old role making sure Grandpa ate, dressed, took his meds, etc. But we also started to make changes to the home to make life a bit easier for Grandpa and my parents.
We wanted to help Grandpa take care of himself as independently as possible for as long as he could.
When people take care of themselves, they’re happier. I mean, think about it: would you rather dress yourself or have someone else dress you? Would you rather go to the bathroom by yourself or have someone else help you?
Think about a 93-year-old man who just lost his wife. He was an Army veteran and worked his entire life.
He didn’t want to rely on other people. One of the most important things to him was to help others until he died.
So we took it very seriously in setting up Grandpa to be as independent taking care of himself as possible.
Which brought us to the question: what are the best changes to make at home for my loved one with dementia? How are we going to support Grandpa in caring for himself?
1) Simplify
We simplified Grandpa’s room and bathroom by removing things he didn’t need.
Photo of bedroom by Unsplash
When there’s a bunch of clutter, it can make it hard to find the things you do need. This can lead to feelings of agitation and frustration.
(We don’t want to upset, Grandpa!)
For instance, Grandpa had some clutter in the corners of his room here and there, like a couple of shoeboxes piled up or a stack of papers on his desk that he kept meaning to get to.
It was important to involve him with tidying up and selecting where to place commonly used items, like tissues or his glasses.
Then with things he didn’t need every day (like the stacks of papers) we came to an agreement to store them in a different place, like a closet.
We rehomed storage boxes, removed clothes that didn’t fit, and cleared the pathways in the room.
Grandpa’s closet in his room had sliding doors, so we kept them open so he could see and easily pick out his clothes in the morning.
Everything had a spot and was easily findable! That made it simple for Grandpa to take care of himself.
2) Bathroom
When you reach a certain age, nightly bathroom trips are a guarantee. Sadly, people with dementia can become disoriented at night, so we wanted to lessen the chance of that happening when Grandpa needed to use the toilet.
Grandpa’s bathroom was attached to his room. So we kept the bathroom door open and installed a night light in order for Grandpa to see and access the bathroom right away.
Grandpa’s room was set up so he could get out of bed and make a beeline to the bathroom. There was no way he could question where the bathroom was and nothing was in his way from making that happen.
For more information on changes we made to Grandpa’s bathroom, check out this blog post here!
(Also, look into “Hard Time Wiping? Let’s Talk A-booty It!” course to help your loved ones keep their ability to clean their booty after using the toilet! It’s a great time!)
3) Alarms
Although Grandpa didn’t elope at first, it did eventually come to that as his dementia progressed.
He was a World War II veteran, and those memories only fueled the delusions and hallucinations that bombs were coming to get him.
So it was essential to place alarms at the front and garage doors to sound off when people entered and exited.
This helped out immensely when Grandpa tried to elope. Someone always heard the door alarm and found their way to Grandpa. We could walk and talk with him until he was ready to come back inside the house.
We always knew where Grandpa was. Of course, there are monitoring systems you could look into purchasing that look like watches or necklaces. But for us the door alarms were sufficient.
(FYI: I’m an Amazon associate and will receive an itty bitty commission if you purchase through the links above.)
4) Safety
I’d highly recommend putting stovetop controls in as soon as possible.
Grandpa didn’t cook, but that didn’t stop him from turning the gas stove on and off (he was completing his own safety checks).
If your loved one enjoys cooking, you can still do that with the stovetop controls!
Your job will be to control the stovetop while your family member does the sauteeing. Win-win!
I’d also recommend shutting off the kitchen sink water at night. There were multiple times Mom woke up to Grandpa leaving the water on.
We didn’t want a slippery floor for Grandpa to fall on!
Also, consider putting a lock on cabinets or drawers with knives and medication. Again, the war hallucinations can make things tricky with sharp objects.
Conclusion
Keep in mind, these are just four general changes to make at home for your loved one with dementia.
Grandpa needed a supervisory assist at first to make sure he didn’t wander away and that he showered on the regular.
However as his dementia progressed with a need for more physical assist, there were more changes that needed to be made.
If you’re not sure what the best changes are to make for your loved one, consider hiring your friendly neighborhood occupational therapist!
As a caregiver, remember to reassess your ability to care for your loved one. You need to be brutally honest about the help you CAN provide to your loved one and the help you WANT to provide.
It’s okay to need more help. It takes a village to care for someone with dementia. We’re here to support you!
What changes have you made at home for your loved one? Please tell us in the comments below!
(Pssssttttt . . . did you know we have an awesome online course for people who have a hard time wiping after using the toilet? It’s an awkward topic that you can learn how to solve in the comfort and privacy of your own home! Learn more about the course HERE!)